Blackflies Versus Customers

I quit my retail job to go hiking in the thick of blackfly season. This is why.

Why Blackflies are Preferable to Customers

• The police don't have to get involved when you squish the life out of a blackfly.
  
• Customers are there all year round.
  
• Blackflies are supposed to have the IQ of an insect.
  
• They both carry diseases, but the bite of a customer is more painful.
  
• I've never had a blackfly become belligerent when it sees through my attempts to fake a full working knowledge of hedge trimmers.
  
• Blackflies don't care whether the surrounding plants are perennials or annuals.
  
• In polite conversation, it is acceptable to refer to blackflies as part of the local wildlife.
  
• Blackflies prefer to stay downwind.
  
• There's a spray for blackflies.